When Partners Want Different Homes: Finding Common Ground

by Alessandra Imanabadi

By Alessandra Imanabadi · Nationwide Fine Homes

Begin with the budget you can actually use, then understand what each person is trying to achieve.

We have seen couples debate homes for months only to discover that the financing eliminated many of those choices.

Once the range is clear, start with common ground: location, daily routine and the things that cannot realistically change.

Paint and finishes may be changeable. The setting, driveway and location usually are not.

Turn the disagreement into something specific

We once showed a couple a beautiful four-story hillside home. The husband loved it and wanted to make an offer. His wife disliked the driveway entrance so much that she initially refused to go inside.

We suggested something different: walk through and list everything else she disliked. Which items could be changed? Would he be willing to make those changes? And could she genuinely accept the driveway?

That conversation worked. Fifteen years later, they were still living there.

The goal was not to persuade her to surrender. It was to understand what the objection really meant and whether the rest of the home could work for both.

Your agent should help both people feel understood—not simply follow the more enthusiastic buyer.

Alessandra welcomes the conversation before you agree on every detail. It is an opportunity to explore the differences, see how she works and decide whether her guidance would be helpful.

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